Friday, June 29, 2018

Polar Bears Are Real Bad Motherfuckers By Catfish McDaris

Unexpectedly, Quick invited me to a concert at the North Pole. He said he’d won some free tickets with transportation included. The Reston, VA, based Molson Brewing Co. planned to send about 250 people for a four-day trip that included cruising the Arctic Sea from Resolute Bay aboard an icebreaker. The Red Hot Chili Peppers would entertain the group while aboard the icebreaker. A dude in the band named Flea raised sheer hell on bass guitar. The temperature was warm for the concert featuring Metallica, Hole, Moist, Cake, and Veruca Salt. We saw huge bears eating seals, Polar and Kodiak. The concert was in Tuktoyaktuk, a village on the Beaufort Sea. The winners along with about 400 townspeople gathered in a heated tent for the show. Quick and I partied with some funky ladies from Hole and some Eskimo babes. The stars were pulsing hypnotic blue diamonds. The wind was moaning on the tundra. Quick decided to wrestle a bear, I guess he just got tired of living. The Polar bear hit him once with his massive claws and his head went flying, the bear picked up his body and strolled away. I went over and looked at Quick’s head, he was still smiling.

About Catfish McDaris:

Catfish McDaris’ most infamous chapbook is Prying with Jack Micheline and Charles Bukowski. He’s from Albuquerque and Milwaukee.

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