Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Inside The Crackhouse With Mike Zone

Question 1: How does it feel to be the love child of Christopher Walken and Robert Denero?

Answer:
Like walking with dollars in my shoes, not sure if I should have a gun to my head or in my head...obviously I'm the a Travis Pickle on foot in a balls of fury sort of way.

Question 2:Where do you hide the bodies and how can I get away with it too?

Answer:
I don't exactly them as much as I utilize them in the workplace , in fact that's why the advice I give to most young write alongside stay out of the court system is...get a job as a cook in a dive bar...you can stuff or make those burgers with ANYTHING.

Question 3: Is it true that you are actually a supper hero named “The Masked Cuddler”?

Answer:
No, but I once put on my ex-stripper girlfriend's sequined panties and  purple feather boa, paraded the room proceeding to call myself "The Purple Marauder".

Question 4: What are your thoughts on the Todd Crillio solo album? I think its dreamy.

Answer:
Haven't given it a chance, I assume it's a place where dreams go to die.

Question 5: Do you also think that reading is lame?

Answer:
Hell yeah it's lame give me a picture box with ripped dudes in tight clothing rapidly moving and huffing and puffing...reading is for guys that like guys, give me some MAN-tertainment.

Question 6: I’ve recently heard that you are working on ultra project in an ultra secret location with an ultra secret pen name could you tell us about it?

Answer:
The pen man is Linus DuChant, I'm really writing in a Panera Bread and it's a heavy metal version of Lord of the Rings.

Question 7:Who is a better rapper kris Kristofferson or Waylon Jennings?

Answer:
Waylon Jennings all the way...he blew the devil out of Georgia...know what I'm sayin'?

Question 8:Wings Stop or Panda Express which do you prefer to rob when low on cash or in need of some comfort violence?

Answer: 
Panda Express, less resistance and always a chance you'll be able to meet a mysterious yet modest woman of the East who encompasses the wisdom of the ancients and you are just...you.

Question 9: I need a hero  I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night, do you qualify?

Answer:
No. I tried the hero thing once. It didn't take.

Question 10: I have a problem at the office I recently killed my secretary . And was wondering if you knew of anyone I could call upon to help fix this situation I really have problem when I mix my meds and fantasy football league and who is the best tight end in basketball?

Answer: 
Just get that actor in Shield who gunned down his wife, he also played a sexually confused cop...what could go wrong?

Question 11: Can you explain how you will defeat Dr.Robotnik in his underwater lunar invasion?

Answer:
Up, Up, Down, Down, left, right, left right, a, b, start.

Question 12: Do you dare take the pop rock and Pepsi challenge the same challenge that took great writer Ernest Hemmingway from us?

Answer:
Hemingway was a hack, I'll show you once I write the great American novel, I'm going to buy the gun he blew his brains out with and blow my own live on a podcast.

Question 13: How much do you charge for your milkshakes? 

Answer:
As many boys as I think they bring to the yard.

Question 14: How does Swiss cheese get its holes? And is it difficult being a Amish and a poet? And can I have your number?

Answer:
There are some doors that should not be opened, exposing the holiness of Swiss cheese is one of them. Amish? No but being a half Jew, working class poet with a pelvic hernia which is constantly mistakenly for a third testicle...yes. As fir my number, I won't give it to you but I can give you an address so you can leave a six pack at the door.

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