Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Inside The Crackhouse With Mike Zone

Question 1: How does it feel to be the love child of Christopher Walken and Robert Denero?

Like walking with dollars in my shoes, not sure if I should have a gun to my head or in my head...obviously I'm the a Travis Pickle on foot in a balls of fury sort of way.

Question 2:Where do you hide the bodies and how can I get away with it too?

I don't exactly them as much as I utilize them in the workplace , in fact that's why the advice I give to most young write alongside stay out of the court system is...get a job as a cook in a dive bar...you can stuff or make those burgers with ANYTHING.

Question 3: Is it true that you are actually a supper hero named “The Masked Cuddler”?

No, but I once put on my ex-stripper girlfriend's sequined panties and  purple feather boa, paraded the room proceeding to call myself "The Purple Marauder".

Question 4: What are your thoughts on the Todd Crillio solo album? I think its dreamy.

Haven't given it a chance, I assume it's a place where dreams go to die.

Question 5: Do you also think that reading is lame?

Hell yeah it's lame give me a picture box with ripped dudes in tight clothing rapidly moving and huffing and puffing...reading is for guys that like guys, give me some MAN-tertainment.

Question 6: I’ve recently heard that you are working on ultra project in an ultra secret location with an ultra secret pen name could you tell us about it?

The pen man is Linus DuChant, I'm really writing in a Panera Bread and it's a heavy metal version of Lord of the Rings.

Question 7:Who is a better rapper kris Kristofferson or Waylon Jennings?

Waylon Jennings all the way...he blew the devil out of Georgia...know what I'm sayin'?

Question 8:Wings Stop or Panda Express which do you prefer to rob when low on cash or in need of some comfort violence?

Panda Express, less resistance and always a chance you'll be able to meet a mysterious yet modest woman of the East who encompasses the wisdom of the ancients and you are just...you.

Question 9: I need a hero  I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night, do you qualify?

No. I tried the hero thing once. It didn't take.

Question 10: I have a problem at the office I recently killed my secretary . And was wondering if you knew of anyone I could call upon to help fix this situation I really have problem when I mix my meds and fantasy football league and who is the best tight end in basketball?

Just get that actor in Shield who gunned down his wife, he also played a sexually confused cop...what could go wrong?

Question 11: Can you explain how you will defeat Dr.Robotnik in his underwater lunar invasion?

Up, Up, Down, Down, left, right, left right, a, b, start.

Question 12: Do you dare take the pop rock and Pepsi challenge the same challenge that took great writer Ernest Hemmingway from us?

Hemingway was a hack, I'll show you once I write the great American novel, I'm going to buy the gun he blew his brains out with and blow my own live on a podcast.

Question 13: How much do you charge for your milkshakes? 

As many boys as I think they bring to the yard.

Question 14: How does Swiss cheese get its holes? And is it difficult being a Amish and a poet? And can I have your number?

There are some doors that should not be opened, exposing the holiness of Swiss cheese is one of them. Amish? No but being a half Jew, working class poet with a pelvic hernia which is constantly mistakenly for a third testicle...yes. As fir my number, I won't give it to you but I can give you an address so you can leave a six pack at the door.

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