I’m done.
Alcohol dehydrates
and
this causes constipation
which wreaks havoc
on hemorrhoids.
A $400 procedure
involving a needle
and scalpel
has sobered my ass up.
My new drink of choice—
A tall glass of water
mixed with 2 rounded teaspoons
of Metamucil.
My poems
haven’t really improved.
But my bunghole
is much better.
About Ben Newell:
Ben Newell, 46, works as a dishwasher in Jackson, Mississippi. His chapbook, You Are Being Detained, was published by Epic Rites Press as part of its 2017 Punk Chapbook Series.
Hilarious, I dig it.
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