Fled to California stood in the waves salt scrubbed me shiny drugs gone booze gone start weak end strong got what I needed must get back to my family to him to her first one on the plane first one off how to explain will she understand…
Flew above the plane the wind up there made me think I was going faster landing taxiing hit my head on the ceiling where the suitcases live flew down the ramp two flying leaps I burst into the waiting area where are they where are they…
He holds her facing out she sees me immediately eyes marching in time with my gait she is in a trance from him I take all six months of her heavy and warm folding my arms around her eyes don’t blink I start to cry but stop myself she and he have seen enough tears of mine the past tries to intermingles with the now no more past only the present moment and how I will use it…
She puts her forehead against mine as we stare together from our endless brown eyes a Vulcan mind meld I am careful with her when the escalator appears hold her a little tighter nothing will happen I will protect her safe within my arms we bond for the first time all the way to baggage claim out to the parking lot he askes for a hug why am I reluctant I waited months for this I am afraid of losing him but I haven’t so far after everything warmth spreads through me I know we will heal…
I put a tired baby to bed she smiles reaching up to me for one more hug a tear busts loose and slides down my nose I wipe it away and go downstairs sitting down to talk with him the wall of my passed behavior hangs around like a bad smell don’t think just listen and he talks and talks and talks…
I am a stranger he and she knows I am not who I was I look the same my voice movement all the same the person who’s been standing to the side of the stage behind the curtain emerges I am she not her my daughter knows this he will be harder to convince I know what’s inside I live here seeing the hope in his eyes the guarded love I will not hurt them again never again…
Flew above the plane the wind up there made me think I was going faster landing taxiing hit my head on the ceiling where the suitcases live flew down the ramp two flying leaps I burst into the waiting area where are they where are they…
He holds her facing out she sees me immediately eyes marching in time with my gait she is in a trance from him I take all six months of her heavy and warm folding my arms around her eyes don’t blink I start to cry but stop myself she and he have seen enough tears of mine the past tries to intermingles with the now no more past only the present moment and how I will use it…
She puts her forehead against mine as we stare together from our endless brown eyes a Vulcan mind meld I am careful with her when the escalator appears hold her a little tighter nothing will happen I will protect her safe within my arms we bond for the first time all the way to baggage claim out to the parking lot he askes for a hug why am I reluctant I waited months for this I am afraid of losing him but I haven’t so far after everything warmth spreads through me I know we will heal…
I put a tired baby to bed she smiles reaching up to me for one more hug a tear busts loose and slides down my nose I wipe it away and go downstairs sitting down to talk with him the wall of my passed behavior hangs around like a bad smell don’t think just listen and he talks and talks and talks…
I am a stranger he and she knows I am not who I was I look the same my voice movement all the same the person who’s been standing to the side of the stage behind the curtain emerges I am she not her my daughter knows this he will be harder to convince I know what’s inside I live here seeing the hope in his eyes the guarded love I will not hurt them again never again…
Older than most, but the beat rages on. Been published many times, though in all these years I've only made $50. Poems, stories (F NF) and a book later. I'm still here. I'd love to get my book off the ground though. As if.
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