this is no chance encounter for the ages
she looks like she’s three
and i’m forty-five
we don’t run in the same circles
but the little girl in the hat that says smile
keeps turning back to wave at me
while her mother gives me
one of those embarrassed grins
like she’s trying to figure out
whether i think this whole act is cute or not
i don’t
or i don’t know
my interactions with children
run the gamut from non-existent to awkward
most days i don’t like kids
and honestly, i’d prefer
to walk down the street as i always do
anonymous and untethered
an observer not the observed
but i try to play along
i wave and i smile
feeling like a goddamned idiot
hoping that it’s enough to satiate the small beast
but my actions seem to egg the kid on
and she starts waving with both hands
lurching back towards me
as if her stroller is on fire
mom is still wearing
that same stupid grin
trying to keep the stroller from tipping over
jesus christ, i think
watching this business unfold
enough is enough
so i pick up the pace
and pass them as quickly as i can
with the kid
now moaning and whining
huffing, getting ready to wail
and something inside of me feels for her
like i understand her yearning
her need for connection
that feeling of desperation
in trying to find one soul that understands
i think maybe i should turn back
one last time
give her a huge smile
and a wave to end all waves
make her day puppy dogs
and rainbow ice cream sundaes
so i do
but the kid is already turned back around
waving and smiling at someone else
like i never even existed
the co-dependent
little fuck.
About John Grochalski:
John Grochalski is the author of the poetry collections, The Noose Doesn’t Get Any Looser After You Punch Out (Six Gallery Press 2008), Glass City (Low Ghost Press, 2010), In The Year of Everything Dying (Camel Saloon, 2012), Starting with the Last Name Grochalski (Coleridge Street Books, 2014), and The Philosopher’s Ship (Alien Buddha Press, 2018). He is also the author of the novels, The Librarian (Six Gallery Press 2013), and Wine Clerk (Six Gallery Press 2016). Grochalski currently lives in Brooklyn, New York, where the garbage can smell like roses if you wish on it hard enough.